Self-care

My Self-Care Shower Ritual For Relaxation & Healing

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Unknowingly, sometimes, I believe we are too mean to ourselves. We harbor feelings of doubt, shame, and guilt and recently my personal war has been not feeling good enough. The question now becomes how do I manage those feelings and soothe my mind? The answer, self-care.

Self-care is one of the hottest wellness trends right now but what does it really mean? For me, it’s about reminding yourself that everything is going to be ok. Taking time to be gentle and to slow down. A time to unfold. A time to make you your highest priority, without interruption, judgment, and expectation. There is something to be said for scheduled self-care dates but I think one of the easiest ways to practice self-care is to add extra time and be more intentional with activities that are already part of your daily routine. Like taking a shower, for example. You already do this so why not make taking a shower a healing experience as well?

One of my favorite self-care rituals is taking a loving cleansing shower. This might sound a bit odd but follow me on this. For many of us, the first thing we want to do after a long day of building our empire is take a nice hot shower. Personally, I like to use this time not only for a refresher but also a destresser. A time to show myself extra love and extra care. This time is especially important when the world and/or you have beaten yourself up. The external challenges we face daily are one thing but the mental wars we fight are a whole other situation. Adding a little extra time and care to your shower can be a great way to recover and tend your wounds from that mental war.

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Here are a few things I do to transform my shower time from a regular scrub down to an indulgent act of love.

1. Set the mood

Lighting a couple of candles and playing your favorite sensual playlist goes a long way. Do all the sexy things you would for a late night date but this show is just for you.

2. Add a little essential oil

As the shower is steaming up, add a few drops of essential oil to the tub. The scented steam from the hot water will instantly transform the bathroom into your own luxury spa. Aromatherapy can be a powerful tool when combating stress. Choose a scent that you love but also gives the effect you need. Personally I love eucalyptus and lavender.

3. Offer yourself the best

This is not the time for your bright green cheap soap bar or chemical-filled over-scented body wash. Treat yourself to clean natural luxurious products. Self-care is also about being intentional with what you put on and in your body, soap included. For added body buffing, consider adding an exfoliating step once a week.

4. Positive self talk & cleanse

Now that you have the mood set and you are feeling calmer already, it’s time to cleanse away the day. This is the most important part of the entire shower ritual. I’ve addressed this a few times before, but positive self-talk is a game changer. The things we say to ourselves can be really harsh and downright hateful. Instead of replaying the events of the day and reliving every mistake, failure, and heartbreak, use this time to let it all go. As you are washing your body focus on:

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a gift. We often talk about forgiving other people and how it is more for your peace of mind than it is theirs, but how often do we talk about forgiving ourselves? Not only for the visible mistakes but also for the quiet moments of despair.

Lather up your body and mentally speak forgiveness to yourself. Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know. Forgive yourself for not being compassionate when you needed it most. Forgive yourself for not allowing your best self to shine through a difficult situation. Forgive yourself for not speaking up, standing out or walking away when you should have. Forgive yourself for the comparisons, the self-deprecating jokes that actually hurt and the mean girl comments that you would not even tell your worst enemy.

Release

As the warm water washes off the suds, the dead skin, and the day’s grime, release every idea, situation, and relationship that does not serve you. Imagine all that stress and negativity moving from your body down the drain and away from your life. Say it out loud, “I release everything that does not serve me and choose a life filled with purpose, love, and joy.”

5. Moisturize

This might be my favorite step in the entire ritual. Now that you are clean, relaxed and calm, it’s time to sweet talk and rub yourself down, honey. As you moisturize with your favorite oil, lotion, or body butter from your sister friend who whips up miracles in her kitchen, affirm everything that you are and intend to be. Take your time and slowly soothe each body part and appreciate the beauty that you are spiritually, mentally, intellectually and most definitely physically. Tell your body why you love it and thank it for carrying you on this journey.

After doing this I promise you you will feel so calm and loved. This shower ritual is something I developed over the past few months and I love it. Feel free to take it and make it your own. In the comment section below, let me know what you think and how you customized your shower ritual!

My Self-Care Shower Ritual For Relaxation & Healing

14 Small Ways To Improve Your Life

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1. Prayer & Meditation

I grew up with prayer and it’s easily something I’ve used to continuously feel connected to my higher power. In the last couple of years, I’ve learned how to practice meditation. Meditation means many different things to different people, but for me where prayer helps me to connect something higher, meditation helps me to connect to myself. The more I meditate, the calmer and more aware I feel. The more I pray, the more guided I feel. So together they are a lethal combination. Check out a couple of my favorites meditation podcasts:

2. Dress up more often

I love dressing up. To start my travels I decided to sell almost everything I have, which included the majority of my clothes. At first it felt like a great idea but as time passes, my inner fashionista cries. Even with my limited wardrobe, there are times where I look for the cutest thing I have, throw on some makeup and simply go for coffee or nice walk. Don’t take the saying, “If you look good, you feel good” for granted. Taking pride in your appearance can be a serious confidence booster.

3. Dance more

Dancing is one of my favorite things to do, but I don’t do often enough. Let’s be clear I love a good party. Like LOVE. A me seh road. And the main reason I like parties is to catch a nice dancing vibe. I feel so alive when I dance, so connected to my body, and so feminine. It immediately gets me in a good mood and all cares go floating out the window. I don’t care what I look like, cause in my head I am Beyonce mixed with a likkle Spice.

You would think with all the joy it brings me I would dance every chance I get. But nope, I barely dance at home. It wasn’t until recently when I was playing the latest DJ Private Ryan mix that I realized that I need to dance more. After taking an amazing feminine energy workshop with my girl Silfath Pinto, I was inspired by her morning movement ritual and have incorporated sensual dance to my mornings. LOVE IT!

According to Everyday Health, dancing can boost memory, diminish depression, reduce stress, and help you lose weight among other things. When was the last time you put on your playlist and just let your body move? For booty popping inspiration, check out this playlist.

4. Start or end your day with a little yoga

Similar to meditation, yoga has helped me connect to myself. Yoga is the closest I get to daily exercise. I consider it part of my devotional aka worship practices. (I can already see my mom pick up the phone to pray for me after reading this.) I get an intense sense of peace after I practice - I feel calmer, stronger and more in-tune with myself.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned while practicing yoga is that if you lose focus on yourself or your breath then everything falls apart. Whenever I take a class and I’m trying to hold a pose or get my body to flow into the next position, the minute I lose track of my breath or start looking at how the next person looks amazing while I feel like a hot sweaty uncoordinated mess that's when I lose balance.

Another thing I love about practicing yoga is that we are taught to accept ourselves wherever we are in our practice. And I don’t mean month to month progress, I mean moment to moment. Every day you touch the mat is different, so we are taught to let our bodies lead and only push as much as we can handle. If your body is screaming to rest in child pose, then that's exactly what you need to do. I love that. Mostly because it translates to everyday life. Some days we are pushing through our to-do lists like absolute rockstars and other days getting out of bed seems impossible. But guess what? You have to accept and love yourself equally at both places.

Yoga is not the easiest thing for me to keep up with and there are many days where I forget to hit the mat. But when I do come back, I’m always like, “Why did I stop doing this again?” For some inspiration to get you to the mat, check out my favorite YouTube Yogi Brett Larkin.

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5. Drink more water, like for real

As I am preaching to you, I am preaching to myself. I am not good at drinking water, but I am definitely getting better. And if coconut water counts (which it should), I’m actually killing the game! One of the best ways I’ve been able to bring my water intake up is by walking with my water bottle. Admittedly, this started as a way of saving money while traveling. If I walk with a water bottle, I won’t spend money on sugary drinks and sodas. (Wine and beer don’t count!) In addition to saving money, drinking water keeps my skin looking healthy, makes it easier to go, boosts my immune system, and makes me feel like I am being a real adult. For more benefits of drinking water, check out this article.

6. Take your “Me Time” seriously (no phone, no tv, no distractions)

You would think that being a solo traveler would mean that I am a pro at taking my self-care seriously. But like the best of you, I falter all the time. I constantly watch Netflix to keep me company, my phone is never more than an arm’s length away, and I find myself scrolling through my social media feeds in the down time that I could be using to develop a skill or catch up on reading. Even so, it doesn’t take long for me to feel the consequences of my actions. My spirit will feel unsettled and my anxiety will spike….then I’m like, “Oh snap, I’m not doing the important things I need to keep my soul healthy.” Then I have to rein it in, practice self-compassion, and re-prioritize. (By the way, that’s how I ended up writing this post. Way more productive than getting lost in the social media minefield.)

7. Jot down 3 things you are grateful for every night before bed

Maintain an attitude of gratitude. This one is sooo important. It’s so easy to let the pressures and obligations of the day distract you from all the blessings you do have. So before you close your eyes at night, write down 3 things you are grateful for. Make sure you go in depth about each one. No slacking and no two word lists. As my sister says, “When you take the time to dig deep and unearth your gratitude, your perspective begins to shift and you create even more blessings in your life.” Listen to my sister! She is smarter than me. FACTS.

8. Keep a Journal

I try to take my journal everywhere; it’s probably one of the most important things I own. There are many benefits to journaling, but what I enjoy the most is having a private space where I can be my most vulnerable. In my journal, I can work through thought processes and situations, and, of course, I get to document my experiences.

Most recently I’ve started bullet journaling, which has stepped my journal game up like WHOA! Along with my thoughts and reflects, I keep track of my goals, habits, budget, new words I learn and so much more. My personal accountability has gone through the roof. Everyday I go to my daily habit tracker and check off what I’ve done. Every Sunday I re-read my goals and reflect on all the things that brought me closer to my goals and the things that I can improve upon.

9. Fall in love with podcasts

I LOVE podcasts. They are a great way to keep up with the news, learn new things and listen to amazing stories and interviews. Check out my favorite podcasts here:

  • Serial - Serial is a podcast from the creators of This American Life, hosted by Sarah Koenig. Serial tells one story — a true story — over the course of a season.

  • S-Town- S-Town is a from Serial and This American Life, hosted by Brian Reed, about a man named John who despises his Alabama town and decides to do something about it. He asks Brian to investigate the son of a wealthy family who’s allegedly been bragging that he got away with murder. But then someone else ends up dead, and the search for the truth leads to a nasty feud, a hunt for hidden treasure, and an unearthing of the mysteries of one man’s life.

  • Up and Vanished- Atlanta filmmaker Payne Lindsey of Tenderfoot TV originally envisioned Up and Vanished as a true-crime documentary. Lindsey selected a missing-person case from his home state, Georgia, and embarked on a journey as an amateur investigator. After starting his research and initial interviews, he decided to present the project in audio form as a podcast.

  • On Being with Krista Tippett- The groundbreaking Peabody Award-winning public radio show and podcast. Conversation about the big questions of meaning in 21st century lives and endeavors — spiritual inquiry, science, social healing, and the arts.

  • Revisionist History- a podcast from Malcolm Gladwell and Panoply. Each week for 10 weeks, Revisionist History will go back and reinterpret something from the past: an event, a person, an idea. Something overlooked. Something misunderstood.

10. Schedule some time to hang out with your most encouraging friends

Who are the friends that encourage you, listen to you vent, remind you of your potential, and make you laugh? Call those friends, set dates, and keep them. Life doesn’t seem to get any easier the older you get, but the people you keep around you can make the journey more bearable and worth taking. It’s easy to get caught up in career, relationships and the day to day grind but don’t forget to be there for your friends and make sure to ask for help when you need it.

11. Read more

I’ve always had a love affair with books. For a short period of time during and a little bit after college, I totally forgot how much reading used to be a part of my life. Lately, I’ve been craving my old love so I went crawling back into her binding arms (see what I did there?). Reading opens up new worlds. Whether it’s a novel where I can get lost in a fantasy, or a nonfiction book that teaches me something new, I am always a better person after I turn the last page of a good book. Recently I discovered that if you get a library card you can access your library’s eCatalog online and, using apps like Libby or Hoopla, you can send books directly to your Kindle for FREE. How amazing is that? Check out my Goodreads book list for reading inspiration.

12. Learn something new

The internet is a beautiful thing when it comes to expanding your skill set. We are so blessed to live in a world where you can learn almost anything while chilling at home in your pajamas. Over the years I’ve used Coursera, iTunesU, and online course offered by bloggers to learn everything from the history of color in film to how to set up affiliate marketing. Also, once you get your online library card, some libraries offer access to different learning websites! I swear the library is the gift that keeps on giving.

13. Go For Walks

When people ask me what I do for a living, I like to say, “I take long walks in different cities.” This is not just a cheeky way of not telling people what I do for income, but it’s a very true statement. Going for walks everywhere I travel is one of my absolute favorite activities. In addition to discovering new nooks and crannies, meeting new people, and mapping a new location, walking helps to clear my mind, exercise my body, and daydream. According to Harvard Medical School, walking also reduces the risk of developing breast cancer, boosts immune function, and helps tame a sweet tooth. WINNING!

14. Keep A Budget

People, people, people. This is me walking into my 30s claiming financial responsibility for my life. Money/budgets/fiscal planning are all things that I am not so good at...yet; things that make me a not so great Taurus and a so-so budget traveler. But in the name of owning property one day, I rebuke the spirit of overspending, anxiety laden bank account checks, and paycheck to paycheck living.

 

This year I decided that enough was enough. One of the simplest ways to keep my account from the “crying over dry rice” zone is to maintain a monthly budget and keep track of my daily expenses. I know this sounds tedious, but once you get into the groove of things you will get so much satisfaction in meeting your budget goals. Because I have to jot down every dollar I spend, it makes it super hard to justify a splurge. If you budget in your self-care expenses and small luxuries here and there, then random spending can be drastically reduced. When I look at something I know right away if I can afford it and which category it falls in my budget. I’m not saying that my budget will make me Warren Buffet overnight but I feel like getting financially free one day can be a reality if I continue to take small, responsible steps.

So there you have it! What are your favorite small activities that greatly improve your life? Share them with me below.

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The Beautiful In-between

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from the archives

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the in-between. I feel like no one talks about the in-between. In-between jobs, relationships, passions, careers. Not the transition, I’m talking even in-between that. That weird lull. The panic, the anticipation of what to anticipate. The what the hell. And the silent pain and the searching. The aimless searching. The searching for what to search for. That in-between.

This is where I am. But here is the problem, I didn’t know I was allowed to have an in-between. I thought you get a rest period and then everything picks back up. But after quitting my last job and resting, I still wasn’t ready to face the world. I was starting my in-between.

Lost in the confusion. I’ve searched for articles, read self-help books, spoke to friends, and grasp for any notion that I am not loosing my mind. But the truth is I felt (and in some ways still feel) like I’ve lost my mind. Lost who I am. Lost my breath. I constantly find myself feeling like I CAN NOT BREATHE. Questioning why I am here? If I don’t know who I am then why should I be here. If I were to walk out my door and never return would anyone even notice. and do I have the courage to do that?

You see the mind is a beautiful thing but it’s so dangerous when it’s lost. Even though I am still in this phase I feel like I’m at the tail end. I have questioned enough to figure out that what I am going through should be a topic of conversation. Surely I am not the only person that has felt like this! I think I’m special but I’m not that special.

Yes, this blog post is and not a whoa is me post. But attempting to put how I feel into words is a small inhale. I won’t begin to try and tell anyone how to fix themselves to get through this but I will share what has helped me.

Here is a list because it’s 2016 and it’s not worth reading if lists aren't involved.

  1. Self-reflection: For me, self-reflection is part of self love. It’s the alone time you take to sit with yourself and weed through the barnacles of your mind. What’s gong on in there? When I am practicing self care, I question my negative thoughts. I attack them on site. Through journaling, long walks, & praying/meditation. I dig deep into why I feel the way I do, what triggered these emotions and then dig even deeper into that. One thing I’ve learned is that the problem is never what we think it is. Take the WHY six levels deeper and maybe then you will find something new.

  2. Patience: The work of yourself is a life long journey. You are not going to get to the best version of yourself overnight so you might as well relax. One of the biggest things that would drive me crazy was the fact that I could not wake up early. I would hit my alarm clock for the umpteenth time and then beat myself up because once again it’s 11am and I am still in bed. That’s when the negative self talk would happen. You’re worthless, you can’t do anything right, if you can’t do a simple thing as wake up on time then no wonder you can’t do anything right. After realizing the pattern, I took note of how it set a terrible tone for the rest of the day. After becoming tired of feeling so worked up over this one thing I decided to be patient with myself. I thought well if my body is unwilling to get up then let me be patient with her. Through my patience I became kind. Now slowly but surely I am waking up earlier and earlier, sometimes without even an alarm.

  3. Intuition: One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was not listening to my gut. I knew I needed to leave my job earlier, I knew i needed to rest more. 100% of my pain is knowing what I need to do but not listening to myself. There are still things in my life that I am being stubborn over. Fear is the devil.

  4. Sleep: As I said earlier I have issues with waking up, in addition to that I feel guilty that I am not sleeping less and grinding more. As I have stated before over sleeping gives me so much guilt. But I also had to learn that under sleeping is not worth my sanity. Allowing myself to rest while I get ready for the next phase of my life is essential. I know for a fact that once I have reconnected with my passions and hit a stride, there won't be a lot of sleep involved. So I might as well take full advantage of this down time.

  5. Support system: I talk about a good support system all the time! I have a great team. Even though I have major trust issues, I know exactly who to call for a girls night, who to discuss dreams and motivations with and who to call and cry to. When going through a dark phase, you can’t tell your secrets with just anyone. You have to find people who won’t project their issues onto you, people who have been there and people who you admire. Not everyone is ready or equipped to carry your cross with you. Don’t make the burden heavier than it needs to be by trusting the wrong people.

  6. More patience: breathe and forgive yourself. Tell yourself it’s ok that you felt too shitty to workout today and just make sure that you get up and try again tomorrow. Patience is not an excuse for failing, it just makes trying again easier.

  7. Solitude and Solidarity: After sitting with myself and understanding the weight I was under I decided to find people OUTSIDE of my support system that I could converse with. I found women only groups in my area, entrepreneurial groups and women only activities to attend. I am a woman on a mission and I wanted to find women like me. Even though I am going through a lot, I know that it’s important to be around women who are actively working on themselves as well. These women have become my low key accountability partners. I’ve received random calls of encouragement, made important business collaborations and friendships. Because we are all on this entrepreneurial journey, we all understand what it takes.

  8. Acceptance: Lastly, there is acceptance. I accept where I am on this journey and even though it's hard not to compare where I am to my cohort, I do know that I am headed for greatness. Not every part of my journey will be beautiful but I need to go through all of it because there is a lesson in every chapter.

I still have bad days. Hell, right before I finished writing this I was feeling so low about my situation. But the good news is; with each breath is an opportunity to start over.

exhale.

Did You Breathe Today?

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from the archives

Finding the delicate balance between embracing a more relaxed lifestyle, and engaging my skills to achieve my creative and financial goals has been at the top of my mind lately. Even though I am a little over a month into this journey, the pressure of finding discipline is ever present and real. Just because I am on the road living a nomadic life doesn’t mean I don’t have responsibilities. It doesn’t mean I don’t have debt, and it surely doesn’t mean I don’t need to earn an income. But I've come to realize that my “impending doom” is all in my head. I’ve already landed my first freelance contract and, all things considered, I am doing just fine.

Being a stranger everywhere I go limits the amount of outside pressure I feel, the need to compare myself to anyone, and the urge to conform to westernized societal norms. The fear of falling behind doesn’t exist in some ways, but definitely exists in a couple of other ways. Not many people I know are doing what I am doing, so as far as my circle goes, I am in a league of my own. And because of this, I am quickly realizing that finding and TRUSTING my own pace is paramount. I set the tone for each day, leaving me to figure out how to be disciplined but fluid. How to work hard but to find joy in the work. How to approach creating content as a priority but also as therapy. How to be where I am, as I am. Though these things were all important in my old life, disappointment seems heavier now that I am the only person I report to. I gave up everything I know to travel the world and reunite with my higher self while creating soul moving content and manifesting life changing experiences. The thought of not accomplishing any of that because I couldn’t find the discipline is heartbreaking.

In the same breath, how is it possible to feel so present, to feel mesmerized by the seconds in a minute? Everything slows down. Life is more vivid, and more pleasurable. Despite fleeting moments of overthinking, I have not been so present and so content in a long time. Downtown Los Angeles feels like a lifetime ago. This doesn’t feel like a new chapter, but more like a highly anticipated sequel that took so long to create that we need a refresher to remember all the parts that lead us here. There are faces and memories I keep close to my heart but so much of it is a blur. Cleansed like God’s breath after a Nicaraguan rainy day, I am made new in every moment.

A few nights ago while drinking wine and watching the most amazing sunset over Playa Maderas with fellow travelers, the conversation turned to the reasons for the difference between this version of ourselves and the way we are when we are back home. I didn’t add anything to the conversation, but as I listened to others share, this question dug into me. I honestly didn’t have anything to say at the time, but the longer I sat with the question, the more some things came to mind. I know the obvious answer is because in a new place you can be who you are without fear of reprisal from the people who “know” you. But could it be something else? Could it be that we used other people’s perception of us as an excuse not to be who we really are? Did we choose to sit back and become a pool of shallow water, reflecting much and contributing little? Did we suppress our nine year old selves in order to belong?

As a solo traveler, there is little need to belong because I always stick out. The way I act, dress, speak, eat - it's all different. And as a traveler locals accept me as such; different. No one is expecting me to fully conform to their cultural and societal norms and in a few days/weeks I will be gone. As long as I respect traditions and etiquette, I’m good money. Comforting, right? And in terms of other travelers, it’s like a revolving door of people. I am not saying I don’t crave connections or the connections are superficial. I just feel like the connections I am making are coming from a more raw and natural place. In the past few weeks I’ve had some of the realest, deepest conversations with people I will probably never see again and gone on a random adventure with folks that my path would have never crossed otherwise. I guess what I am saying is that we are different while traveling because we are truly present with each interaction. We are open.

I can safely say, I have always been a bit of an odd ball. A risk taker, if you will. But even I have felt the need to do the “right” things. But I also know that you (unlike me) don’t have to be dragged by life or completely get off your path to realize that you must be who you truly are unapologetically. Like a good friend likes to remind me, “Don’t forget to breathe.” When the overthinking starts, I breathe. When the debt back home comes knocking on my door, I breathe. When I taste fear crawling back up my throat, I breathe. I close my eyes and breathe, then I open them and remember that I am on the trip of a lifetime, creating my truth in each moment. My only job is to be present and manifest.

“A woman must be careful to not allow over-responsibility (or over-respectability) to steal her necessary creative rests, riffs, and raptures. She simply must put her foot down and say no to half of what she believes she "should" be doing. Art is not meant to be created in stolen moments only.”

-Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

Did you breathe today?


Cover Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

The Scariest Day of My Life

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from the archives

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I've always been on the go, working and striving for better. Back in October (2016), I was forced to stop. I wanted to be hard-headed and worry, knowing damn well that's not where my focus should be. I got many signs from the universe that I should relax and take care of myself. But, like the old folks say, "If you don't hear, you must feel." Even though I am smiling in this photo, this was one of the scariest experiences of my life.

After passing out on the train, I was rushed to the ER, admitted to hospital, and hooked up to machines. I underwent endless tests and saw multiple doctors, including a later visit to a specialist, only to be told that I have some minor condition that is probably agitated by stress. My first reaction - "Ummm what?! Stress?" That was the biggest wake up call of my life. If I don't take better care of myself and learn how to relax, I can end up back at the hospital. Through that trying time I have learned a few lessons that I want to share with you:

  1. Your health is more important than your worry. Even though we may think we are healthy or fit, a stressed out mind can and will eat away at your physical health. 

  2. Never underestimate the power of kindness, generosity, and humanity in others. When you are going through your mess, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking no one cares. But given the chance, people always show the depths of care that we can have for one another. Strangers on the train kept me from seriously injuring myself when I passed out. I will never forget the woman who caught me on my way down, the young man who picked me up and carried me off the train, and the amazing paramedics, nurses, and doctors that took such good care of me. Special shout out to the random firefighters who poked their heads into my room to check in on me and everyone on the train that wished me well as I was being carried off (yes, it was a dramatic scene lol). Because of the kindness of a close friend, I didn't spend the night or the next few days alone. She was my rock. Through the generosity of another beautiful friend, I was able to go home to Jamaica and get the rest and restoration I needed.

  3. Little things can be life changing. We create the world we live in, for others and for ourselves. Your actions have far greater consequences than you can ever imagine. It is important to take accountability for who you are! Self-care starts with you. Even if it's 5 minutes a day, take some time out to just love on you. 

  4. Choosing to put me first might mean leaving some people behind. Sometimes self-care means being selfish. Selfish with your time, with your gifts, with your love, with your energy. I've found joy in saying, "NO, I'm not going out tonight because I need rest." or "NO, I don't want to hang out with you because I don't think you will add to my life." Ok, maybe I won't say all that but I will say NO and feel perfectly happy about it. 

  5. Since you are saying NO to so many things make sure you are replacing them with a ton of YES for you. YES to that manicure (or if you've got a little more room in the budget then YES to that massage). YES to the bubble bath with candles and sexy music. YES to sleeping in once in a while. YES to that sexy bikini that hugs your body just right. You get the idea. Take damn good care of you! 

In keeping with #5, I have said YES to Self-Care Sundays. Sundays are my days to completely relax and recharge. I hope that in sharing my story and continually sharing how I take care of myself I will inspire you to love on yourself. Don't let a trip to the hospital be your wake up call. This is it.

For my Self-Care Tips check out this video.